I am a gay man, 80yrs old so you can imagine what I had to deal with, with a very religious background. A book, The Power Of Now, was instrumental in helping me learn to live in the present moment. The gist of it is the fact that the only thing that is real is what is happening now. The past is a memory, not a present day reality. You can learn to be present by directing your attention here. It is a process. By continually bringing your attention to what is happening now (what is real), you will find your imagined history will have less influence in your life. This is a kind of Buddhist principle. Also I start each day with coffee and using Youtube's numerous meditation music while I verbally give thanks for everything I take for granted, such as food, drink, shelter, safety, friends, family etc, which much of the world doesn't have. This helps to change my attitude as my day begins. I also drink in moderation, have a partner, so I am not lonely, and take a small dose of antidepressant. I have learned to respect myself over the years. This is a must as a foundation to making your life interesting. The meaning of life? That can be answered by reading the numerous books on people who have clinically died and returned to share their experiences. The doctor Raymond Moody would be a good start. You can have meaningful decades ahead. I hope something of what I have said will help you.