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The value of an animal

Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Jun 17 8:11pm | Replies (102)

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@amberpep

Jim .... I loved your story. Right now I am struggling terribly. Several years ago I had a Cavalier Charles Spaniel, whom I just put down about a year ago - the classic congestive heart failure that seems to be part of the breed - she was 11. I'm 73, divorced, live alone in a limited-income apartment and life has not been the same since she's been gone. I had her since she was 4 - she was what they call a "velcro-dog." Well, it's a year now, and I'm terribly lonesome. I moved nearer to where my girls live, after much hounding, and otherwise here I am .... they keep saying to "get in a women's 'meet up' group" ..... that is NOT me. I have not yet found a church where a lot of my real friends are in MD (I'm now in VA), and I am so sorry I moved. I decided to get another dog - a companion. After much time looking, I've been in contact with a foster mother, also in VA, she is fostering a dear little bassett/spaniel mix - black and white about 1-2 years old. She's told me a lot about him - sweet, no problem with cats, loving disposition, and another velcro-dog. We've beet interacting for about 2 months now, and early Feb. I'm going to pick him up. I've gotten the OK from the Mgmt. where I live, my references including my Vet., all came back great, and I'm very excited about this. I struggle with Bipolar 2. Well, it seems my family (my 3 adult kids and, believe it or not, my X - like it's his business) don't think this is a good idea. They say all the standard things .... "you'll have to walk him, you'll have to pick up after him, you'll have to take him to the Vet." OMG they're making me nuts. I am so upset today that I've kept my phone off because I know I'll say something I shouldn't and then later regret. About 2-3 months ago I sent my 3 kids (all adults) info. on Bipolar 2 hoping they'd read it and maybe understand a bit more. Well, if they did read it, it didn't sink in because nothing has changed. I AM getting this dog .... I'm 73, in excellent health, and extremely lonesome. But, I'm upset that I'm getting absolutely no support from my family. All these stupid reasons ..... I've had a dog - Molly - so do they think I'm not aware of what's involved. Anyhow, I feel so very sad, tearful, and I just want to move back to MD. Here I am, I see them once a week (I do not expect more because they all have lives too), and otherwise I'm alone with my 2 cats ... they're sweet cats, but they're not like a dog at all. Anyhow, I am heartbroken that they won't support me in this and I wonder what is next that they won't support me with. Oh how I wish I'd never moved here.
abby

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Replies to "Jim .... I loved your story. Right now I am struggling terribly. Several years ago I..."

@amberpep

So you are getting your dog, how nice! It would be good to have your family support you in this, but I'm sure you will enjoy your new little friend.

Teresa

Hi Abby, I am so glad I saw your post! I'm 55 and I got a puppy about 5 months ago. I have chronic illness and was going downhill last summer and after seeing other people get puppies in my apartment building decided to get a puppy. I had no pets at the time and hadn't had dogs or cats for 3.5 years. I was missing having a dog too! I struggle with depression and anxiety, so I totally understand. I think you are doing the right thing and I am totally supporting this! I dreaded telling my 75 yr old mom about getting a puppy because I knew it would be a negative reaction, and I was right. When I told her she said Oh No. She got over it fast thankfully. My dad wanted to hear all about the puppy, so that helped. My sisters love dogs too, so nothing negative. My wayward 20 yr old daughter who lives in Texas (I had to move to Utah because of my extreme allergy to airborne mold), was jealous - which I expected. She also has bipolar, but is using meth and heroine to feel good, and, unfortunately, and sadly, I don't have much contact with her. I went to a support group for parents of kids with Substance Abuse Disorder and the leader of the group said getting the puppy was absolutely the right thing to do! All the other ladies in the group had dogs. My dog is an "Emotional Support Animal." If you have to move and they say they don't allow pets there - you can get your doctor to write a letter saying that your dog is an "Emotional Support" dog. No one can legally turn you and your dog away. Also, if you ever had to fly in a plane and take your dog with you the airlines cannot charge you for the dog's fare, so the dog flies free. This is the law now and you can find that information on the internet, or someone can help you with that if you need to find it. Your doctor probably knows about this too. That's how I was able to get permission to have my dog where I lived last summer. The doctor faxed the landlord's form after I filled out part of it. It was very easy to do. I know you will forget all about this sadness when you get the new friend! You will not care how much "trouble" the dog is. You will manage it and you will wake up each day and see that precious face looking at you, happy to see you, and full of love for you! I hope you have a better day now! I am really happy for you! My Audrey has improved my life immensely! Good luck and I hope to hear more! Jess