@daistone - Happy birthday, even if today does not feel so happy. Glad you are here. How horrible to feel physical pain and feel that you are a detriment to your loved ones and society as a whole.

If you need to talk to someone immediately, please contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
– Call or text 988
– Chat with a counsellor at https://988lifeline.org/chat/

They are there 24/7.

I also moved your post to this discussion where other members have talked about isolation, so that you could chat with them and get insights from them:

- Diagnosed with Isolation https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/isolation/

Please meet @thisismarilynb @brandysparks @ikemike12 and others. I'd also love for you to meet @gingerw. They may have some experiences to share about isolation and about feeling nothing but dread in your future.

I appreciate that you posted here on Mayo Clinic Connect. We're here and we're listening. Have you had a chance to send a message to your primary care doctor about what you can do next? Do you also see a therapist at all (perhaps virtually)?