@gratia
I have had to set firm boundaries. My normally docile husband doesn't usually give push back when I name a boundary, but when he literally pushed me back (when he wasn't getting his way), I contacted his Doc and he's now on an anti-anxiety med.
When my husband wasn't as far along I would not always go along with his requests, but I do try my best now to go along so he doesn't get agitated.
Just one small example: my husband walks multiple times daily on our property. My life and routines then kick back in with my 10 minutes of reprieve while he walks the loop. When he returns I'm usually listening to the radio (can't stand a quiet house). He then announces he's going to play guitar or watch TV, so I turn off my music and just let him do him. I used to say things like, "I always do what you want and you always get your way, you'll have to wait" or something like that. Now I just turn off my music and go along; it's just easier. With that example there is no boundary anymore, but when he wants to walk outdoors and it's too hot, then the boundary becomes firm and I tell him for his safety he'll need to wait till it cools a bit.
If you have kids then you know you have to choose your battles.
My boundaries have changed as my husband has changed, but it's all about keeping him safe.
My role now no longer resembles wife, now I'm like his Mommy. It made me uncomfortable when he began asking permission to do this or that, now I just go for it.
All the best to you. 🌺