@gratia I think a boundary is whatever we want it to be on any given day. Seeking out peace for an hour. A walk for 30 minutes to capture that beautiful green door shot you took. Or those sunny yellow daffodils that bring all of us joy. And signing onto Mayo Connect first thing in the morning, to get our sliver of hope before our day starts. Boundaries only apply in certain situations, as in caregiving, there are just things we simply have to do that we don't want to do. So the boundary becomes, for example, if she's unkind and rude on that day, just walk away. Or find something soothing, like music, for her and for you, and then walk away. Let the music fill her soul, and try to keep her calm. The boundary might be foregoing all the extra work in the kitchen, and selecting nutritional convenience food, already prepared, that still gives her a good meal but doesn't wipe away every bit of energy you have left. The boundary might be getting someone else to bathe her. As for your identity, your feelings and the like, they're still there. Workload is exhausting for people. And caregiving is workload. So, the boundary becomes like you did, getting your sister to help. taking that much needed trip like you did, but maybe doing it, once a month and let your sister and some companion care take over. Changing the venue, I believe, keeps you, YOU, and intact, so you can still do some of the beautiful things you used to do, that make you YOU. Find the joy in quiet moments. As for your goals and dreams, that becomes an adjust and adapt for now. Nothing stays the same forever although when we're dealing with it, it feels like an eternity. Chin up, take those beautiful pics, and just continue to share your thoughtful and meaningful posts. It's good to have @gratia on this site.
Best, Karla