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I can survive chronic pain, but how do I live with it forever?
Chronic Pain | Last Active: Sep 13 11:57pm | Replies (27)Comment receiving replies
Give up hope. I know it feels totally crazy and wrong, and most people will utterly reject this, but for me the answer was to give up hope that my pain will go away or that I will ever go back to normal.
That set me free. It was actually a relief! Although it was just the beginning, because once you do that, then you go on to the challenge of full acceptance and stepping out of the victim role--which is rough because it's valid in its way. And acceptance isn't one and done; there's always another thing to accept around the corner.
But it allowed me to go ahead and live my life from here forward, to have the pleasures and fulfillment possible without constantly comparing my life to what I expected or is normal.
The Buddhists say "Neither hope nor fear" and to the extent you can do that it really does deliver you into present reality. And that's the only place life can be truly rewarding.
Which is not to say there aren't moments when I curse and grieve the fact that I'll never go on my favorite hike again. We're only human, right? But my family tells me that I'm a different person since I began to practice this.
Replies to "Give up hope. I know it feels totally crazy and wrong, and most people will utterly..."
@jpj1952 I understand basing your life on a certain kind of hope-a hope that has absolutely no possibility of coming true, a hope that is totally illogical, a hope that denies the facts, a hope based on lies, and on and on has little or no benefit. But, denying a reasonable hope needed to deal with a challenging human condition is depriving the sufferer of the basic necessity needed for the healing a positive outlook can give. It is similar with "acceptance". Many believe that we must accept the things we can not change, but that is not true-for there are a multitude of things (like what many are enduring here) that are simply NOT ACCEPTABLE ! It eventually dawned on me that I had to accept that this is my life right now and the sooner I deal with it the better. I just don't accept that is that, there is no hope and roll over. What I am getting at is that how I perceive my condition can make me part of the problem or part of the solution (repeating myself once again). I can write from experience for many times I am still part of the problem and these affirmations hardly dent my comfort and ease with negativity. I'll keep trying though-what else can be done?-because giving up is not an option.
@jpj1952 So perfectly said and so on target! Mindset is no small part of living on - perhaps living a New Normal is the key to lifting out of the victim thinking.
I find a greater ability to live my life, other than sitting in my recliner or lying in bed, if I use a mind set of Doing whatever, and not thinking I am unable to do it. Pain? Yes! But the feeling of accomplishment makes my MINDSET an overcomer…..at least for awhile.
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@jpj1952 it’s true that accepting a certain amount of discomfort and/or limitations can be liberating…totally pain free doing everything I used to do isn’t going to happen, but I can manage my pain enough to enjoy many activities—still enjoy time with family and friends, playing the piano and going for park walks. Wishing you and all here ways to enjoy more of life !