@rivermaya34
My sincerest condolences for your grief over 7 years with many losses. It's comforting to know that a brother in the Lord has faith in Him. I had the good fortune to get training in Trauma-Informed Care as a Certified Peer & Family Specialist. I cannot imagine the difficulty over many years in dealing with tragic personal losses. I have yet to deal with my 2025's business and personal losses during this period of feeling numb.
God has given me friends helping me through each day after losing my husband of 44 years last year in December. Today, I have a 9 month old puppy to keep my mind and heart feeling life. And my daughter with her family and my son who has been living with them is where I moved to in July when I left my friends in Colorado. Just losing a community of people I worked with is difficult for me. So, I'm having to continue looking for jobs just to feel useful. Being without a job for a year in August has been more than I could feel good about. Even at age 81. But, in suffering sudden losses, unplanned tragedies and those mount up over a span of years seems the worse situation to face--even for me. I've learned that denial and refusing to understand that we have no control over things outside of us are what keeps us stuck.
But, I'm an overcomer. I've also relapsed with a breakdown just from one small incident that opened up buckets of tears a few months ago. Recovering from hurts and trauma that stemmed from my childhood is what I am aware of, because of my training as a peer coach. However, I cannot deny my own weakness in private. Being transparent with myself and staying aware of triggers kind of governs the time I care to spend feeling helpless. I'm not suggesting you are feeling that way--I confess that I reached a point of giving up. My friends called for a wellness check when they suspected I might be in a bad place of giving up. If it weren't for them, and for the acute treatment center that I agreed to be in for a few days, I may not be here trying to help you feel okay about your grieving. It's natural and God is merciful to send our help through His Holy Spirit. My crutch has been my puppy that I got when she was 8 weeks old in January, one month after my husband passed and two months having put our 12 year old Dolly down in an emergency. It's a crutch for me because Misty has distracted me from feeling the pain I know will hit me one day big-time!
Meanwhile, you are God's child and He has a plan for you. You just need to be encouraged to seek His face daily, moment to moment. I love Psalm 91. What's your favorite Psalm?
I believe this group is a way I'm finding very helpful to express my grief and where I can be of encouragement, too.
Blessings and peace that only Jesus Christ can give through his promise to be in our midst when two or more are gathered in his name. - Donna Mae