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It's tough to figure out when to start getting really prepared for the end. I'm almost 80 and I've been working to reduce my pile of stuff so that my wife and daughters won't have to fool with it. But I'm still using some of itš
My father desperately clung to being cared for all the way to the end, which made the last 10 years of his life downright miserable for my step sister, the only one still left in the hometown. My father-in-law, I did the exact opposite of your mother. He left a train wreck of finances that were mostly driven by his fear of his 50-year-old stepchildren and outright cowardice. The result was that his son was completely cut out and his daughter, my wife, was left wondering why her father cared so little about her and her family. It was a lesson for us, though, and I have worked to leave a much neater situation for our two daughters.
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@twday67 I am rewriting my legal paperwork another time after the family dynamics have changed due to their passing. Hopefully for the last rewrite since we are down to just a couple of direct family members left. I am also communicating why estranged family members, they removed themselves, have been left out of the Trust, a disinheritance clause and statement.
This is a quote I found while doing my paperwork and it is so true: "Get every little thing detailed and decided in advance and leaves no room for questions or lawsuits."
To me that also means explaining why one is being left out of a Will etc. No matter what time in life communication is so important. I'd rather know than not know and be left wondering for the rest of my life...why.
We experienced that type of situation with my Mom leaving my brother out of her Will, for good reasons, truly. I asked her to write a note to have with the Will however she decided to tell him and put him back in the Will. Guess what, it backfired on her and the rest of us siblings. As they say, "No good deed goes unpunished."
So, best to write the why in the legal paperwork.
Barbara
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@twday67 this good post can help othersā¦.when i heard I had a large aggressive tumor, I immediately saw my lawyer and the banks, etc. to make sure I didnāt leave a big messā¦my POA fantastic and we got it doneā¦as far as the stuff, I knew I couldnāt get around to it before surgery, so the lawyer said estate sale people can clear it out after close family have set aside a few things. Helped clear my headā¦by the way Iām still here 2 years later !