I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this awful and baffling condition. I too was sick with the first wave in March, 2020 (in NYC) and have had a roller coaster of symptoms, tests and mental health struggles as a result. I think it’s important to recognize that grief for your former self is normal and necessary. I have a therapist who specializes in ptsd, grief and chronic illness and it has helped me more than I could ever describe.
Since you’re on Long Island-Mount Sinai has an EXCELLENT clinic devoted to Long Covid and other similar illnesses and I’d highly recommend making the trip and seeking care from them. The doctor in charge, David Putrino, is involved in a lot of clinical trials and research, so they have all the up to date theories and info. I left the city (mostly because of LC) for an easier lifestyle. Currently in the process (four years in after some mishandling of applications in BK) of appealing a disability denial.
I hope you find some help and some peace. Your wife sounds like an angel-I’m glad you have her in your life.
In solidarity 🙂