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Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 3 minutes ago | Replies (25)
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I feel your pain - whenever he loses something (which is quite often) he starts looking everywhere, even in ridiculous places, for the item. Eventually he accuses me of throwing it out or the cleaning lady of stealing it! I used to get so angry at him because it was so unfair to accuse me, or the cleaning lady. I have learned to let it go - no amount of denying the accusation will convince him. So I take a step back and let him search for a while or even find the item myself and try to change his attention to something else. It’s so hard to swallow the anger at being unfairly accused. Now that I know it’s not him, but his brain not working correctly, I look at it that way and it helps a lot.
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@elm123
Elm,
Last night the Alzheimer’s demon came out as soon as my wife went for her shower. Ten minutes later it was draws slamming, cursing, accusations, etc.
This time I ignored it and stayed in the living room. An hour later she came out and sat on the couch remained silent as we watched a show on tv. By bedtime it was like nothing happened. I think by not getting involved looking for the “lost” items it takes away the “inflammatory “ response.
She believes I can find the “lost” things because I’m the one who placed them in their new hiding places.
I intend to just let her vent and not get involved. It seemed to work last night so rinse and repeat!
After a visit with my doctor this week I realize that as a caregiver we have to put emotions aside and take care of ourselves. Although our loved ones think they are okay in reality they need our help more than ever. If we as caregivers make ourselves sick with worry then you have no paddle and the boat has a hole in the bottom!!