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Talking Frankly about Living with Advanced Cancer

Cancer | Last Active: Jun 18, 2023 | Replies (508)

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@IndianaScott

Hi @lbern The @ sign followed by screen name provides the person mentioned with an electronic note saying they have been mentioned in a post. It is helpful especially when someone asks a question so the post doesn't get missed and a question unanswered or acknowledged.

Thank you for the kind words. I understand your husband's feelings! These issues/concerns, etc. are some of the tough stuff in life! My wife and I had several fits and starts with addressing them until we finally dug in and attacked them. Luckily we have a daughter who was relentless on the importance of getting our wishes in written form since she is an attorney. But it still wasn't easy for sure!

One side benefit to being well prepared was it allowed me to avoid a whole lot of arguing when it came to end of life decisions and issues. Sure, extended family often disagreed with actions taken, but their complaints were faint compared to the fact I knew what it was my wife wanted and could tell/show them.

Kind of funny in a way story. All of a sudden, out of the blue, my wife asked me to get a pencil and paper to write down her ideas for her Celebration of Life, which she wanted to be held in our home. Once we were done with that she asked me to get another sheet of paper. I asked 'what for?' She said 'I am going to give you the list of who I want invited to my Celebration.' I replied 'Uhhhh, honey, one does not usually invite folks to a service like this -- rather it is open to all.' She looked me in the eye and said "Scott, I do not want anyone in our home who did not give a sh*t about me when I was alive, in our livingroom blowing smoke up your a*s telling you how much they cared about me after I am dead.' We both shared a good laugh and then she dictated the names!

Different strokes for different folks as they say! 🙂

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Replies to "Hi @lbern The @ sign followed by screen name provides the person mentioned with an electronic..."

@IndianaScott thanks for helping me learn all kinds of things, including how the discussion board works. Where would I see the electronic note you mentioned? thanks again