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Talking Frankly about Living with Advanced Cancer
Cancer | Last Active: Jun 18, 2023 | Replies (508)Comment receiving replies
i am new to this discussion group, but it certainly is right for me. I am facing a prognosis of 6-12 months, but 4 months have already went by and my folfirinox treatment looks like it's not working,although it helped first month. (pancreatic cancer). I am panicked thinking what can I do to prepare my family to live without me. Then I get tired and sleep and feel I've wasted precious time. I'm 58 and have 3 kids in college in their 20's, my heart breaks thinking of their needs and me not being there for them.
Replies to "i am new to this discussion group, but it certainly is right for me. I am..."
I hear you @lbern My wife was in her 40s when she was diagnosed with her cancer. Your feelings/thoughts are many of the same ones she voiced to me. Most of her energy was needed to fight her illness, but when she felt 'up' she did do a few things that helped when she was gone. They didn't necessary remove her sadness, but she did feel some positivity from them. Writing down her wishes and arrangements was an immense help. Discussing and implementing needed changes to our wills, etc. also helped her. She reached out to a few folks she wanted to make amends with, while at the same time remaining comfortable ignoring several others who she was content to 'leave sleeping dogs lie' as she put it to me. She also gave a few gifts to family members. I must say she beamed every time she saw them with her gifted item on or when it was spoken about. This also cemented how important the item was to the person she gave it to.
She also bought a small lighted sign for us. We kept it by her bedside and often she'd hit the button on top to light it up and to reassure her she was doing what she could that day/at that time. You can see it here -- I now have it in a cabinet and often find myself giving it a tap on and again!
Wish I had something more concrete to offer...keep up the good fight!
Strength, courage, and peace!
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So sorry to hear about your prognosis.
Stay positive and pray!
My wife (stage 4 lung cancer) was told “4 months...maybe longer” in July, 2016...
She is still with us! She has a great quality of life and we attribute it to her Mayo team, strong faith in God, and a positive attitude...