I am so sorry to hear of your health problems, @ld57feast. It is understandable how an alcoholic husband could compound the feeling of sadness and loneliness. Might I suggest that you contact an Al Anon group in your area and perhaps someone could phone you with supportive conversations? (Al-Anon is a support group for those who have family members and/or friends who are addicted.)

I also did an online search and found that there are online (email) meetings. Here is the website where you can find a way to participate in them, https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/virtual-meetings/.

Al-Anon members are very kind, supportive people who will gladly embrace you (virtually) and hold you up.

Sending you a virtual hug right now!