I connect to almost everything you have said @saltis.. At one time or another have experienced it all especially the feeling of being tired of the fight but battling with that feeling is the stronger emotion of feeling blessed with the cancer, as I have expressed many times I am a better person now. So @ventibug I hope the replies and welcomes you have had and will continue to get supports the feelings of gratefulness for what you can still experience. If anything is "normal" during this time it is that you can feel Gods love at the same time you feel depressed for what you have lost. You can feel joy for the gifts you are still getting at the same time you feel sadness for what you have lost. Here you find compassion and understanding for whatever "stage" you are in. @saltis said it very well.

Allison