@joetex It's been less than a year since my husband passed, so I may be preoccupied by a very energetic Miniature Schnauzer. Sometimes I think she took time from me that if I were alone, it would have been harder. Raising a puppy at my age may seem unreasonable because I'm finally feeling the physical demands of keeping up with her at age 81. When my staff told me that I should finally retire, my response was, "But, I'm going to age by three or four years if I am not productive and caring for other people." It became me prophetic. I've always been a doer and a catalyst. Only a couple of weeks ago, I realize that God has placed me in a season of rest from striving. Without a loyal and devoted husband that made it possible to do things most people would shy away from, I reflect only on how my husband made sense of why I strive to do good for others. I'm sorry for your loss of 59 years. Men and women go through grief so differently, I can imagine. Yet, grief is about the heart's capacity to grieve for someone we loved and cared for. If Steve had not had a near-death experience that was inspiring, we both would not have handled his illness well. His death could have been more devastating than it was to know that Jesus would receive him and that Steve's pain would be gone. So, I'm hoping that I can continue to be the caring person that Steve knew--despite being preoccupied with a puppy's needs. I tried grief groups, but it did not help as much as the friends who made sure I wasn't alone. They shared my pain, and they did so much to help me with stuff needing sold and donated. Thank you for your kind response. I pray that you have the strength to pursue life as best as you can given your situation. God bless you with peace and joy for the memories of your wife.