@allisonsnow

So very true, Allison. Thanks for saying the words that we all wish we could say to others.

Teresa

Oh, I don't feel very special or chosen. I am just a human being, no better no worse that is really going to die of cancer, if not get hit by a bus as everybody else, all those who are not going to die of cancer. Here in Sweden 98% say that if they aren't driven over by a car. Well, actually there aren't many who were driven over by stray cars or cats, lol!
Allison, I feel and know what you are talking about. They want to give us courage but they belittle us and doesn't understand how much it hurts. The worse are those who change the subject immediately as if the cancer through talking becomes contagious.
Hope you were able to sleep a bit more. My lovely girlfriend from my youth surprised us with her visit all the way from Toronto. Her presence has been a great comfort to my husband & me. Just love to be able to laugh, joke about anything and everything and be sure that she doesn't take it in the wrong way.
Dear Allison, in case of non- understanding people, turn a deaf ear to them & ask them many times to repeat what did they just said until the umpth time and then ask them innocently so your plan is to be hit by a bus? But I never wanted neither planned to die of cancer. How am I able to change to your category?
Take care & have fun,
Saltis

Hello @saltis

Your strategy in the last paragraph is just perfect! Thanks for the smile and for a good response for people who just don't know better.

Teresa

Dear Allison:
I am watching and thinking of you as a 10 year lung cancer survivor.
I encourage you to check out Mayo Clinic Dr Amit Sood, on line and read his Mindfulness and Resiliency articles or books and if you can listen to his powerful words of meditation.
I have learned the power of learning how to relax my mind, body, spirit and nervous system through his program and It has been remarkable as I have strived to beat the 17% chance of living after lung cancer diagnosis and surgery.

I live with this paced breathing program that is now on on my phone and it helps calm me accept life as I must live it
one moment and one day st a time.
You are in thoughts and prayers.
I am sending you kind cyber hugs.
lung cancer mentor
linda

Up all night is not a new thing for me. It's the time your brain goes to thoughts and places you don't want to go to while you're putting on that brave front for everyone else. I'm very fortunate to have a great friend who has been there and also sleeps very little at night. Friends, I think, are afraid to truly face what our diagnosis means. In my case, even a couple of the kids are still trying to convince themselves it's like a bad case of flu or something. Then of course the other kids get angry because of that. You can't change people's perception of what we go through, but just decide how much denial you can accept in your circle of friends. You'll exhaust yourself trying to make them understand or change their minds. Hang in there!

for some reason Dr. Sood sounds so familiar .....is driving me crazy now trying to figure out why???? and my memory is not what it used to be !!!! lol I listen to Enya a lot when I need to relax I have been monitoring my blood pressure because out of the blue it has dropped into the basement and occasionally goes high (another problem for another day ) I only bring it up because when the readings get high I sit and try to calm myself but left to think is not good for me my mind wonders and then I worry. So I listen to music and that seems to help the most.
I also come here for some peace of mind and a place to put some of my worries. The feeling of family here helps so much.
Thanks for the hugs

@vsinn2000 Thanks for typing exactly what I feel and I agree trying to juggle between what people think is exhausting. Friends you can distance yourself if you have to but family you had better keep lol....I actually have a seven year old grandson that has the best grasp of any of them. He tells me he knows I have cancer and that is why I might go to heaven sooner than we want. But as long as its not for a while yet and he gets to see me again in heaven he can accept that. Now his father(my son) knows I have this rare and deadly form of cancer but he really hasn't faced my dying at all. I don't think he realizes how close I have come on more than one occasion at least that he will acknowledge, he refuses to sit down and discuss it. Hoping I won't see you on here later tonight
Thanks to everyone for there help and support

@allisonsnow Hi Allison. I am Terri, a Mayo mentor from another group (lung disease) I saw your post asking about Dr. Sood. He is a doctor at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester. He heads up a dept for mental well-being, especially for those dealing with a chronic or life-threatening illness. Many of our members on Connect have benefitted from his insights and wisdom. There are many Youtube videos of him that you may find helpful. I just Googled Dr. Sood and they came up as choices. I would send you the link, but I do not know how yet. @colleenyoung can please help?

Thanks @windwalker. To send a link, simply copy the link and pasted it into your message. When you copy YouTube links into a separate line in your message, the video will appear right in the message.

@allisonsnow, here is the link to Dr. Sood's Stress Free website http://stressfree.org/
There are so many videos to choose from. Teresa @hopeful33250 which Dr. Sood video might you recommend to start with?

Thanks going out to @windwalker and @ colleenyoung