I'm sorry that you've had such a difficult year. It can't be easy facing that much in such a short span.

Grief is difficult. And it's different for everyone, taking different forms.

I sometimes grieve over my former life. I became disabled nearly 8 years ago, and I miss so much of what I used to be able to do -- like walk.

I believe it's important to have things to look forward to -- even small things.
Are you able to do that? Are you mobile enough to get out and meet people? Have you found a new church home?

You have endured great pain. Maybe you're partially numbed by it. Give yourself time to heal. The pain may find an outlet.

In the meantime, you can use Mayo Connect to reach out to others. Helping them can heal you. (That's one of the reasons I'm active here, so I know it works.)

Best of luck to you. And give your pup a treat for me. I wish I could have a dog.