Nogginquest, your posting touched me. It doesn't seem fair for you to possibly miss out on things you feel so passionate about. When I worry about dying before I always figured I would, I also feel like it's not fair, but I remind myself that I already have had more time than lots of other people do. It's amazing how the obits talk about people dying in their 40s and other people getting to their 80s and 90s. It's crazy how some people have twice as much time as others, no sense to it, that's for sure.

I hope that was not upsetting, if so I apologise. You sound like such an amazing person. Think of how many people you have touched through friends, family and work. So, I agree that cancer sucks, and it's tougher on some than others. Hang in there. Enjoy whatever you can. Think of everyone you have and continue to touch. gp

Hi Nogginquest,
I am so happy for you that you still do the job you love. It makes me actually a bit jealous. Of course cancer really sucks and I quite agree but we cannot do anything about it. I have had cancer for the past 23 years & I try to live each day on it’s own. I was a person who planned everything in detail and the calender was filled with dates and programs. Now it is almost empty but then I have the possibility to surprise myself. I have learned that comparing my life with others (specially those healthy ones) doesn’t help me at all but waste the precious life I have still. Out there are richer, healthier, older, more fortunate, people with MS, childless people, disabled, people living in war zones, human beings who are turtured, those who live in fear, children who die because of cancer & more. I am & you are the lucky ones, to be able to live ”even for a short while” and do what we love to do. Enjoy your days and months or years to come. By the way I am stage IV and it has spread to other parts, too. It has been like this for the 3 years and of course there are downs, black holes and frightning moments when I wake upp, struggling for air & wishing that it would be over now. Then I look at the sky, my surrounding, my family and can breath again.
My friend enjoy the work you do, create all the things you enjoy doing and hopefuly you would be there with every event.
Good luck,

@nogginquest Keep doing what you love for as long as you can do it. Stay strong for all those people you have touched. For me Cancer is a ONE day journey. Every day I wake up is a new day and a new chance at doing what I love to do. Some days I can do it.....some days I let slip by to regain the strength for the next day. No matter what happens I get to live one more day and feel so happy about it. I have lived with one motto since my cancer metastasized 5 years ago and it is this. " I'll probably die from cancer, but it ain't gonna kill me". Every day I get is a good day and I can find a positive in the day no matter what the news is around me. I've not worked in almost 2 years but when I did work I did not work because I loved what I did. I did it for the paycheck but I really did not enjoy my job. Now that I am away from my job I feel like I've been released to go have some fun and to really do a few things I love to do. I'll keep making plans for future days no matter what my diagnosis is. Yes, cancer does suck. But what sucks worse is letting Cancer dictate what you do today. Go out and make every day a great day no matter what the Cancer does.

I was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer a year ago and I also have the BRCA gene mutation, so I feel your pain. I am 60 years old and I feel like I am a walking Time Bomb just waiting to explode. Although I feel great today I always wonder what tomorrow will bring. Cancer does suck!

Very inspirational! I love your saying " I'm going to die from cancer but it ain't going to kill me." I like to say that I'm living with cancer instead of saying I'm dying from cancer. A good book I read years ago was it's Always Something by Gilda Radner.

You are right, @juliemangione

The unknowns of cancer do keep us all in suspense. When you feel like a "walking Time Bomb" as you said in your post, what do you do to calm yourself?

Teresa