Let me say that just the trauma you have been through is enough for anyone person to be depressed I too come from parents that were alcoholics/drug abusers I have spent the majority of my life having pills crammed down my throat with none working. I can completely relate to over sharing with your children for the lack of no one to talk to and being upset when they leave you out of things. (Honestly I thought I was the only person in the world who does this) I have been told I was crazy the majority of my life and with all the “therapy” I have endured I have taken only one thing from it and that they can’t “fix” me. With that being said I stopped trying to fix myself and started trying to accept myself as I am. I went on a soul searching mission about 8 years ago and looked inward I started to meditate and following the teachings of Buddha in that I found a peace like I have never known in not saying it cured my depression but it drastically changed the way I look at my life and the world I stopped trying to fix myself because I learned that there is nothing wrong with me! NO ONE ON EARTH WILL BE A MORE PERFECT YOU! No one can be better at being you than you so what is there to fix? Also it helped me to stop caring about what others thought and with letting that go I stopped comparing myself to them. I can not relate to everything in your story but I can a lot of it and I hope that this helps you someway to become comfortable in your own skin Nameste beautiful soul