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I think most of us are stubborn with our independence and don't want to admit that we can't do everything we could when we were younger and don't want to ask for help. Count me in that group. Our physical abilities decline slowly and are imperceptible at first until all of a sudden they are not. We don't plan for this because we don't want to admit it to ourselves. I have to be constantly reminded by my wife that I am not Superman anymore, and when I try to prove her wrong I pay for it over the next few days. I've always found it difficult to say that I can't do something and age and PMR have not changed that. I'm learning and changing slowly but not happily. For me it's about being useful and I just have to get into the mindset that my definition of useful has to change with my decline in physical abilities. I do most of the grocery shopping, cooking and laundry but I still want to be able to do more. It's on me to make the necessary changes and plan accordingly.

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Replies to "I think most of us are stubborn with our independence and don't want to admit that..."

@kjoed53 Oh, I get this "...I'm learning and changing slowly but not happily. For me it's about being useful and I just have to get into the mindset that my definition of useful has to change with my decline in physical abilities..."
I am one day out from a spinal injection, seven weeks out from wrist replacement, on my way to becoming bionic, and determined to keep moving - my spouse is the same - but we are a LOT slower (and wiser) in our approach to life.

We recently hired someone (3 young people) to do some overdue refreshing in our home - things like painting ceilings, and tall entryways, building out a new closet, and replacing flooring - they also ended up painting almost every room in our contracted time. 10 years ago we would have done it all ourselves and gone dancing afterwards, but now we admitted that it would have taken us 2 months to do what they did in 4 days! So I get to spend my energy making my sewing room accessible for the long run, clearing unused stuff out of nooks and crannies, and rearranging furniture, shelves and paintings in our fresh space. The same with our 1/4 acre yard with extensive perennial gardens - I now have helpers 1/2 day per week, doing the heavy work like spreading mulch, moving big plants, trimming bushes, and helping with weeding. In the fall a couple comes for 2-3 hours to "put the yard to bed" - job that would now take me a few hours a day for a week!
We really love our house, location and neighbors, so we plan to stay. Our son-in-law already scoped out where we will place an elevator to serve garage (on grade) and living levels up & down 7 steps from the entry. We didn't think about steps when we bought the house over 40 years ago!
But we have been adding railings, grab bars, upgraded lighting for years. Heavy and awkward items have been taken off high shelves (learned after shoulder surgery & wrist replacement.) There are safe step stools upstairs, downstairs and in the garage, and the big ladders have new homes - no more climbing on chairs or extension ladders!