@judimahoney I read this, this morning with sadness, and I like others, don't really know what to say to make this better. Even sending a virtual hug this morning, doesn't seem to be enough. My first reaction - at minimum - is to get help, to lighten your load and manage his meals and the 8 sets of swallowing and muscle exercises he has to now do. The other is to perhaps, puree all his food, freeze some of it, like I used to do for the grandbabies when they were born. You would still however, need additional in-home help to sit with him, to manage how much he's taking in. I remember my neighbor next door with dementia, shoveled her food in as well. So that was a challenge for the few of us caring for her. I feel sad over your post, Judi, that you had to cancel your anniversary/combined birthdays and that you're now in another stage you have to figure out and manage. Since you live remote, is this worth going to Mayo in one of their locations - or on a virtual call - and engaging a specialist who may have other helpful approaches you can use, so with the modified diet, he gets the nutrition he needs, and you get some relief in all of this.
Best, Karla