I have the opposite situation-but it’s thanks to God my sibling has no issues yet. I think he is concerned the rest of us will overdo the sympathy as he continues to live an independent life. I made sure in months leading up to his diagnosis that he knew I would do anything he wanted me to do to help whenever the time came. To live with me, to have me come to wherever he was feeling safe, do research, etc etc. I will do exactly that just like I did for our mom years before she passed. He was part of her care and he knows I move heaven and earth for my loved ones. I want the most time and quality of life for him-even if he just needs company and/or knows I love him from afar.
I cannot understand the wife excluding her husband from the vacation. A 20 hour day is hard-I did that for twenty plus years myself…but any missed opportunity to just be with him she will regret some day.