@thomason I am 76 and have never feared death, only an ugly prolonged one. I have never let side effects or pain stop me. While going through radiation and on oxycontin and a fentanyl patch, I was cutting my grass wearing a balaclava to protect my face from sunlight. I cooked for my husband while I consumed ramen noodle soup and green tea. I did all the housework and shopping. Three weeks after my 9 hour surgery I was participating in a political march and volunteer lobbying at my state capitol, a one hour drive away. One week after my tongue surgery I was publicly speaking at my local Board of Supervisors meeting and did it with pain and slurred speech. I just don't have time to give into this crap. Sure, I do the woe is me stuff too and shed a few tears, but that is just being human and lamenting how unfair life can be. I always thought drowning in a vat of Hershey's chocolate would be a fun way to leave this mortal coil. I am an atheist, so an afterlife is not in my mindset but I do wish you a peaceful and healthy life.