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I Can't Decide Between Allogeneic or Autologous Transplant
Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT) & CAR-T Cell Therapy | Last Active: 13 hours ago | Replies (12)Comment receiving replies
@loribmt Hi Lori, I apologize for not responding but thank you once again for your detailed response. It made me feel less alone. I did end up making a decision and I'm doing the autologous stem cell transplant, which is scheduled for next week Saturday. I've been feeling overly fearful and anxious when I think about the transplant. I think I've been in such a negative headspace for so long because everything that has happened to me that I feel like I've forgotten how to hope again. I'm a Christian and this has really tested my faith. There are days when I feel like throwing in the towel. I get angry and question why God would allow this to happen to me. Everyone that I've talked to that has had a stem cell transplant have all said it was worth it and greatly improved their quality of life, so I don't understand why I'm struggling to believe that it will happen for me too. I don't know if it's pre-jitters but I'm scared. I have a good team of doctors and they've been great and my family has been supportive, so i think I'm the problem. I just want my life back. I'm tired of walking around with a broken heart.
Replies to "@loribmt Hi Lori, I apologize for not responding but thank you once again for your detailed..."
@chrissyade19
Aw Chrissy, my dear...there is no shame in what you're feeling. But I am sad that you feel your heart is broken. It can be a huge challenge to cope with the changes you go through when your life abruptly veers off course! I've been there myself. We actually face a mourning period where we have to say goodbye to basically everything that was familiar! Even if some of the symptoms were awful, they were predictable and part of our life. Now everything is changing, but hopefully for the best!!
But it doesn't mean life won't return to some level of normalcy. Most of us who have a stem cell transplant return to 90% or more of our normal lives. Frankly, I think I'm 98%.
I think you made a good decision trying the ASCT first. I know you had a tough decision to make. Since you're receiving your own cells your recovery will be much faster with far less risk to you. You won't have any potential side effects with graft vs host disease.
You've had some complicated issues with the sickle cell anemia, rheumatoid arthritis and scleroderma. This ASCT may help you reverse a couple of these issues! To ease any of the burden you're facing daily would be a huge gift, I would think.
I loved the reply you just received from @ajdmyers.https://connect.mayoclinic.org/comment/1637929/
Please talk with your transplant team. I've gotten to know so many of the people on your team over the past 7 years! They will do what they can to guide you through this course. But they also have a wide range of counseling and medications that can help you over this hump.
I'm here for you any time, along with so many of us who have walked the same walk! Pretty sure we all faced the ASCT or SCT/BMT process with some healthy trepidation.
But for me, once I got underway I felt this enormous sense of relief of finally going forward. I'm pretty sure you will too!
If your ASCT is this Saturday, have you gone through cell harvesting already?
@chrissyade19
Chrissy, I will pray for your steady recovery from your ASCT. I had an auto transplant 18 months ago & am feeling very well at this point. Recovery does take a few months, but you will regain your energy & a much more positive outlook as you will be feeling better. Blessings 🙌
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@chrissyade19
I dealt with anxiety during/after my BMT in January 2026. If you haven’t discussed your anxiety symptoms with your Mayo team, I encourage you to do so. They have dedicated providers to help us through the mental health challenges of SCT and I found them very supportive. I chose to start some meds that made a huge impact on my ruminating and sleeplessness.
Peace be with you!