@parus

I follow you. I rate my day on a scale of 1 - 10, 10 being the best day of my life. 4 is suicidal. I was down to 2 in '06, and it took more than five years to get up to 5, and I thought I'd never see 6, but I did in late '15. I saw it as my new 10, and enjoyed it for a year or so. After several months at a 4, I've made it back to 5, and I seem to be stuck there. I'd like to be up to 7, but I don't know if I'll ever get there. I'm adjusting to being between 5 and 6. I could probably survive at this level, and that wouldn't be a bad thing. Being married, I make an effort every day not to impose my depression on my wife. I know that it's been hard for her to live with a depressed husband since '04. She does acknowledge that I'm better than I was, but she thinks that I should have figured it out by now (her words). As you say, we might as well accept where we are, and not feel guilty. I'm not sure I can say I embrace it, though. I don't like the feeling of being depressed, and I'd be lying if I said it's ok. But, like it or not, it is what it is. We have to carry on as best we can. Having things like music, art, pets and other things really help us.

Jim