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@underedwardstale2018
Welcome to Mayo Connect. We are a group of individuals who ask questions, offer our own experiences and support each other. As such we are not medical professionals and cannot offer diagnosis or medical explanations. We will do our best to give you ideas for ways to improve your situation. I am a Volunteer Mentor.
I'm so sorry to hear about your anxiety and how it manifests as fear of people and being cast out (rejected?). When I was having my panic attacks, I would suddenly be overcome by fears that if the people around me knew what was going on, they would have the men in white coats come and put me on a gurney and take me away. Each time it happened, it was the most frightened I have ever been. I thought I was going crazy. It often happened at work, and fortunately my boss was very understanding when I told him that I might suddenly need to leave work for some time until I was over the feeling. I would leave and just walk around or drive (unless I was too scared) someplace to get away. This began during my divorce when I was living on my own for the first time in my life. I was 27 years old and scared to death. I never knew when the feelings would hit me.
-Does this sound like what happens to you? If so, I may have some ideas to help you get through the feeling.
-If this sounds like you, I highly recommend that you see a mental health professional or your doctor. There are classes that can help you learn about Panic attacks and what they are. There are also medications that may help short term.
-Can you share your age and any recent changes in your life so we can better understand your situation?
Meantime, I hope you find some relief for your anxiety. Please let us know what's happening.
Warmly, Gail B
Volunteer Mentor
Replies to "@underedwardstale2018 Welcome to Mayo Connect. We are a group of individuals who ask questions, offer our..."
You've shared enough I think others and I may be able to give you support. You are very young, so I'm not surprised that your trauma has hit you very hard. Moving to a new city can be stressful and if you did so to avoid your traumatic event or a person, it is even more stressful. I'm glad you saw a doctor and he gave you medication to help relieve your fears.
-How long have you been taking the Lexapro?
-Did you start with the full dose?
-Did your fears of the man in black get better after the medicine?
I take Celexa, which is similar, and I found out I couldn't start with the full dose as I became super fearful with pounding heart and feeling faint on 40 mg. I cut the dosage in half and let my doctor know. He was fine with my doing that. I still felt strange for about 3 weeks, but adjusted and was on 20 mg for 1 year before my doctor took me to 40 mg. So, I'm wondering if some of your feelings may be a reaction to your medicine, depending on how long you've been taking it and if it's a full dose. You may need to "titrate" to the full dose as I did. You could ask your doctor about that.
I'm 69 years old, and have experienced many traumas in my life beginning in childhood. I lived 7 years in an orphanage and was sexually assaulted by a girl gang while I was there. I was 8 when my oldest brother began molesting me; he was15. At 18 I was raped by a guy I knew in school. As a result of the rape, I ended in the emergency room and then hospital for 8 days with a bad pelvic inflammatory infection. After that I was told I could never have children due to the scar tissue in my fallopian tubes. I'm sharing this with you because I have a lot of experience dealing with sexual assault and other traumas.
I strongly recommend that you get counseling from a local mental health facility if you live in a large enough city. If there is a college or university where you live, they often have excellent counseling/therapy at very low cost. If you are in a small town, you can ask your doctor if he can recommend a therapist/counseling for you in a bigger town close to you. Counseling helped me tremendously! Also going to a short program on Panic attacks helped. Many hospitals have programs and some have trauma counseling. Consider PTSD counseling as that may be helpful as well. Eventually, when you are feeling more secure/safe, you may be able to join group therapy.
Also, taking Yoga class is very helpful as you learn how to focus on doing the poses exactly and your brain stops worrying about your fears. It takes time to learn how to focus and eventually meditate to calm your mind, but it is helpful throughout life. I still do medication to relax. There are 2 books that are still available through Amazon, both by Dorothy Jongeward; Women As Winners, and Born to Win. I used the first to learn how to get through my panic attacks at first. I never talked to anyone about the panic attacks until I was in my 60's! I wasted so many years when I could have been happier, but I have still had a great life and been happy.
Let me knowif any of this is helpful for you.
Warm regards, Gail B
Volunteer Mentor
First I will answer your dashed questions. I have been on the lexipro for about two and a half months, I was on tenex before that and adderall before the tenex. I did not start with the full dose, I took only 5mg a day for about a week and am now on a still relatively small dosage of 10mg. Within my first month of taking lexipro, my fear of the man was at a high point, almost as bad as when I was still in my trauma area. He would mostly appear when I would try to sleep, resulting in panic attacks and several days without any sleep and migraines. He still appears now, but only about twice a week. Whenever I see him, I can hear the shuffling of his footsteps in the corner and the gleam of a knife and I'm terrified I will die. During the time that I've been taking lexipro I've also noticed that my heart rate is always higher, especially at night. I should probably try yoga, that seems like a good calming activity for me to try!
Please let your doctor know about your fast heartbeat at night. There are other medications out there that might work better for you. If you can get genetic testing for medicines that will work best for you, please ask your doctor to order that for you. You are young and knowing which medicines will work best for your body will be immensely helpful thru your life. It will save you from the "experimental" work of trying different meds until you find the one that works in many situations.
Also, a part of you may be "dying" as you have lost your innocence and right now your feeling of being safe. When I dream of dying I now know that I am changing in some way and trying to incorporate the learning into who I am. That means I must let go of who I was, and grow into my "new skin" in some way. You're learning. I must stop now as I have an appointment. Please keep in touch.
Warm regards, Gail B
Volunteer Mentor
Thank you. I'll be sure to bring up the genetic testing to my doctor as I really am growing sick of experimentally trying medicines.
Also, I'd like to say think you for shedding some light on the thoughts behind what happens. My mind moves so fast that I can't grasp the things that are flooding it. I wish you the best at your appointment!
I’ll take some of your ideas to help with panic and anxiety. I know mine is being cause from withdrawal of Lyrica and I still can’t get myself off the 50mg because the withdrawals hit me so hard I just want to dig a hole and crawl in it. I take a very low dose of Ativan when I awake as anxiety is off the roof and I shake and am nauseated. Any suggestions would be thankful
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I am hesitant to reveal my actual age but I will say I am in my teen years. I have talked to my doctor due to the fact that that does sound like me, and I have been put on lexipro. I moved to a new town about a year ago, and I always feel like theres a man in all black that is watching me, that knows my every thought and action. I feel silly for this, but that contributes to why I am terrified of the dark.