Janell
I really appreciated Your words "You're among people here who understand what it's like live with uncertainty. " It is a shared experience and a practice which I recognize.

Hopelessag: I wish you progress and peace in your so difficult situation and process. Perhaps Palliative Care can be of some assistance. Palliative Care is not Hospice and is often helpful working with those who have serious and complicated diagnoses with various co-morbids. I have found them to be helpful. Hopefully a Palliative Care team will become available and helpful for you.