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Survivors of toxic relationship with a Narcissist: Let's Connect
Mental Health | Last Active: Aug 6 7:58pm | Replies (141)Comment receiving replies
@brandysparks Those are great questions. I know that therapy has helped me immensely with ADHD, spinning thoughts, all the different parts of me that learned survival skills (anger, etc.) to deal with growing up with my NPD parent and the dysfunction that went on in my house, growing up, as well as when an adult.
I went from a really kind, sweet, honest child, to a 12 year old that started drinking and smoking. I also became very angry. So, I was acting out (unconsciously) the dysfunction. I was told in treatment at 14 that I was the "scapegoat" in my family. In other words, I was the "problem." The counselors were not saying that I was "the problem" specifically, but that I was the problem my other family members focused on so as not to have to take a look at themselves. So, battling alcoholism and addiction for over 3 decades has been my part. I am sober now and have been for several years now. I still go to therapy. There is complex trauma that is experienced when a family has an NPD parent, sibling, spouse. I am still in therapy and it takes time to get to those emotions of abandonment, sadness, fear, etc., that a little child experiences. Those are such formidable years.
You sound so self aware and I understand and empathize with what you experienced. It is isolating and I know that feeling. There are assessments that can be given in a psychological examination for ADHD, anxiety, depression, PTSD (as complex traumatic stress disorder is only recently recognized as life long trauma). PTSD leans more towards specific events, where as Complex Trauma (CTSD) is more life long trauma, emotional abandonment, neglect, emotional abuse, etc. Growing up in a household with an NPD qualifies (in my opinion and experience. Anyway, thank you for your post. Peace to you also.
Replies to "@brandysparks Those are great questions. I know that therapy has helped me immensely with ADHD, spinning..."
@diverdown1
We are unquestionably kindred spirits. Sally the love of my life and I are looking at a place to move to. I will be back to you.
🙏
Mort
@diverdown1
A wonderful article. Really sums up my experiences. Since I had the psychological evaluation so much has happened.
I have decided I will not take another evaluation. I have had previous evaluations. What I observed from the most recent one is a feeling of absolutely no understanding or compassion.
I had just received the wonderful note from Cathleen describing me as a “survivor”. That single word is the greatest compliment I have ever received. I will always remember the moment I read it.
I need to set the scene so everyone understands why the psyche evaluation that day was a perfect storm. In this way I am hoping Mayo might consider what changes might be made in the actual execution of such evaluations.
I had previously completed an assessment form that was very detailed. I have the gift of nearly total recall. This gift I have goes back to my earliest youth. So here I am sitting with the psychiatrist. Her focus was on the form I completed while my focus was on the message from Colleen. I am in tears and the psychiatrist is very upset because I am not answering the questions. This meeting was followed by an experience with a psychologist. I felt like I was under attack. I was so upset that I ended the session.
I assume the techniques used on me are sttandard and approved. If that is the case the n we are in trouble. At no time did anyone ask me, “are you ok Mr Hurt, what’s wrong”.
I will not go back to face another event like I just experienced. What drives this decision is some simply wonderful events Sally and I just experienced. Sal has confronted Pancreatic Cancer for 7+ years. She has this absolutely marvelous oncologist who has been by her side fighting for her. There is a new autoimmune approach being reviewed for ultimate distraction. If approved it will mean the end of CHEMOTHERAPY for her and thousands of others.
Anyway, if anyone has any questions or comments please let me know.
Take very good care and thank you all for your interest and thoughts m.
Namaste 🙏 Mort
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@diverdown1 - Thank you. Best wishes on your journey.