@diverdown1 I'm really happy for you that you were able to get sober. It makes such a huge difference. I suspect you've noticed.

I went through a three year period of extreme depression that nearly cost me my life. It turned out to be mediation-driven (I flipped on Effexor, an uncommon but not unknown reaction). During the worst of it I self-medicated nightly with heavy alcohol and weed consumption ( I live in a legal state). I'm quite confident that the combination furthered my already severe depression substantially.

Getting off the Effexor pretty much immediately ended my self-harm spiral. A medication change (Lamotrigine) essentially erased lifelong depressive cycles (I was diagnosed bipolar 2 in the hospital and it tracks so well with my history that I feel it's accurate). But stopping weed altogether and reducing alcohol down to all but nothing rather than guzzling vodka nightly has also, in my view, been key. I don't wake up feeling physically awful. When I was drinking heavily my days started out in an amplified depressive state just from that.

I'm really glad I was able to quit without treatment. I feel like I dodged a bullet given the amount of alcohol I was putting down. Vodka at up to half a bottle a night is kind of a one-way ticket to alcoholism. And I was using cannabis sodas for mixer. Self-abuse like that doesn't make things better. And then there's the nagging guilt about it to add to the mental struggle.

So congratulations for your success at getting sober. You're mental and physical well-being will only be served by it. I hope you're able to stay on track. It takes resolve. Alcohol permeates our society. Stick with friends who don't depend on it. It means it won't be there for easy access anymore, and won't be as strong of a temptation.