@ladamato, is he the strongest or most easy to prevail upon. No one gets to come back into your life unless you want them in, because you really are in control. It's better for you husband if you address the siblings without his involvement. Your gentleness isn't what allows them entry. It is a show of the genuine strength you have to exclude them.
It's hard on Alzheimer's patients to give up the distant past when they lose so much of the recent past.
But you shouldn't apologize, whichever way you decide to handle this.

@ladamato

As Karla said, "set boundaries." Don't worry that "they" won't like you for it. We in this support group are all on your side.

You are not alone.

George's Wife

@ gently Your post I think is a good one, but the boundaries I was referring to, in the earlier @ladamato post are being set with the difficult adult children (not the dementia patient), Maybe I'm reading your post wrong. It's early this morning! Boundaries aren't a tough word and can be done gently or not so gently, depending on the situation. It's simply letting our family members know through conversations, OR a family letter, whatever, that Dad is no longer the same Dad or Mom, due to the illness. and can't respond or do the things he used to do and why. The intent is to try to get the adult children to be helpful, supportive and not enemies. The job of caregiver is tough enough as @georgescraftjr said. I often give feedback because like me, I cherish good feedback from others, especially where I'm in a blended family where I know what I've been up against and what has worked for me as a caregiver. Best, Karla