@ladamato I'm not sure gently reminding these "all consuming, tied up in their life adult children" is the best way to go. Brain surgery three weeks ago, along with Dementia, and they want their father, your husband, to come over and help them move. Ridiculous. At best, all you can do, is to tell them, he loves them, but he can no longer help them. And tell them that as his care partner, you're doing exactly what the doctor has told you to do. Managing and providing quality care for him. As for your husband not understanding why you don't want to be around his children, anymore? Tell him, you'll gladly have them come over if they are respectful to you, no abusive language, and no unrealistic demands the puts your husband at risk. Or gets you upset. We have to set boundaries, especially when caring for a loved one with memory loss and its progression. Best, Karla