I can understand dealing with major depression since I was about 12 now 52 diagnosed with MsS 2 years ago I fell off and quit going to any Drs infusions it been about ten months and now I truly am in pain that's incredible being not going to Drs and doing it without meds for ms I am going back to another neuro next week it just freaking hurts I get the feeling and I think if I tried to continue without pain meds or doctors I could possible do something drastic it's just exhausting I can understand and hope to hear how your journey goes