@erikas Thanks for asking as a child I was the scapegoat. Anything that sent wrong it was my fault. According to mother. It took years to understand that she needed to deflect her feelings of inadequacy by insisting that everything I wanted or said or did cause it. . It was a persecution that made me try to step carefully but when I was blamed when he did or broke things I refused to accept blame and dad realized he needed to protect me. At that point it was convenient to take me with him frequently served two purposes. I learned how to caulk cellar windows to help out. When I was about 11yrs she told me I wasn't the daughter she wanted. I learned to negotiate, do math and went to NYC to hear Noam Chomsky speak. It was a rough emotional start but by being independent and " mature " I got by. One positive thing that kept me sane was to realize there was worse going on that I was protected from. Anxiety developed and I had no outlet besides sticking my nose in a book and stay away from mom. Tried to find someone to talk to about my feelings at 14. No one. Lots of mistakes, three marriages and four children later I started to act defensively found OA and began working on too much but got a degree and moved to CA. New mistakes and growth. Lost 200 lbs and discovered Inspire online therapy then CBT. 2011 had heart attack and started planing my escape. 2018 moved to NC. Far enough away and close enough to be independent but able to keep in touch. So to answer you, I lived long enough that society started to change enough for me to stop running in place and figure out that I was enough. In therapy ( talk therapy) I realized no one was left. I was where I wanted to be. Knew what I wanted and what I didn't. No-one who hurt me in any way can get to me anymore. I'm enjoying knowing that most are deceased and the few have lost that power. I enjoy shadenfrued. It works for me.