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Hi, I just recently found this site. I originally was in a discussion on another page but decided to look to see if there was something similar for PTSD. I was diagnosed in 2008 at Homewood Health Centre in Ontario, Canada with Complex PTSD, major depressive disorder and addictions. I live in PEI, which is a small province in eastern Canada. I went through addiction treatment here over and over but always failed because of the un-diagnosed PTSD. At the time PEI did not understand that addiction was typically driven by an underlying condition. My story is long so I will try to break it down! Ironically, during my using I would have told you I had no trauma! My mother raised my brother and I herself after my father died when I was 16 months old. My mother was severely abused by her father, brother and sister growing up and then entered an abusive relationship with my father. When I was 12 she was the first person on PEI to be diagnosed with Multiple Personality Disorder, now called Dissociative Identity Disorder. (First remembered trauma) then I went on to an abusive relationship for 10 years, eventually I was treated for both the PTSD and addiction uncovering other earlier traumas related to a border we had when I was 4. I have been clean and doing well for several years but this last year has been challenging and now with the Covid-19 virus changing all our routines, I am lost again. Many of my symptoms are back...over-active startle reflex, intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, depression and anxiety. On top of that I feel like I don't have the right to complain as I am not sick nor is anyone close to me. What are others doing to stay regulated? How are you dealing with the panic? Thanks for giving me a place to vent...take care!
Replies to "Hi, I just recently found this site. I originally was in a discussion on another page..."
This is indeed a hard time for those of us who are having to deal with covid19 on top of mental health issues. I'm depending more than usual on my service dog, Sadie. She is sticking close when I move around. When I go out to work in my shop, she lies on the step by the door, or lies on the lawn, watching for me. I walk to the barn, and she's walking next to me.
You've done some hard work to get where you are today. I know how traumatic it is to deal with the things that have caused our PTSD. I've told therapists things I've never said to anyone. I didn't realize that the things I've lived through all added up to PTSD. I thought that was something that happened to people who fought in wars - I'd never heard about civilian PTSD, but it's certainly real, isn't it.
It's interesting to see how addiction interacts with PTSD. I've never had a chemical addiction, but reading your story kind of gets my brain thinking about other kinds of addiction, such as behaviors and attitudes. I need to follow that train of thought. I appreciate that you brought it up.
We deal with difficulties in different ways. Some of my therapeutic coping skills are focusing on my yardwork or jobs I need to do in the shop. I'm working on some old chairs that are wobbly, regluing dowels and tightening screws, cleaning them up so we can use them again. They've been sitting in the shop for years. It's been helpful to do some of the old jobs. I feel more productive.
One other thing I do to cope with the stress is meditation. There are numerous methods of meditation. I focus on a paragraph in the Bible and let it fill my mind, at the same time letting the other thoughts clear away.
I have to stop writing. I'll be looking forward to hearing how you're doing.
Jim
@deidre, how are you doing today?
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Hi @deidre, I'm glad you found this discussion on Mayo Clinic Connect too, and shared your story. You are certainly not alone with PTSD. I'd like to introduce you to @parus @jimhd and @smilie (who is also Canadian, by the way).
Only this morning, I was listening to a CBC broadcast about liquor stores in Ontario selling higher volumes of merchandise since COVID-19 and thinking addiction relapse related to COVID-19 would be a good topic to start in the Addiction & Recovery group. Would you like to start a new discussion and ask that same question about how others stay regulated here: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/addiction-recovery/