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@gingerw I found that when I was asked about situations other were having that are similar to mine the PTSD was triggered to the point I could no longer talk to a long time because I was too stressed by the things she was asking about and sharing tests that she was having done. Those down there things. I am thankful she is not close by. I can no longer tolerate her telling me about these things. I have tried to tell this long time friend-she doesn't understand how severe the PTSD has been and the memories it loosens through my mind and body. She knows some of my past and due to the severity I don't share share the really bad stuff. No one needs to know!!! Sorry, been kind of distressed as of late. Oh gee, not making sense. These awful memories. Time to get busy doing something.
Replies to "@gingerw I found that when I was asked about situations other were having that are similar..."
@parus I agree that remembering can be so stressful. Like @merpreb said it is all in the past. But the events color our life, hopefully after a long time it is just a tint, but still there, I know. You are stronger for being a victor over everything, remember that!
Ginger
Dear Parus, Peach here again. My PTSD never leaves me completely. Whenever I hear a child crying as I shop in Publix (grocery store) it brings back my ptsd memories and I want to lash out at the person doing this to the child. There was a time when I would leave the store and return when this person was gone. The ugly memories were brought back to me when hearing the child's cries. This is now a little better with time. To help this I force back memories until I remember some of the few times I found solace in the beauty of the small but good things you see in our life. I hone in on this piece of beauty going over it with it's goodness again and again. (Like the tiny morning glory that I found hiding under a bush. But it was alive and brought me into a tender moment of loveliness. The strength that this tiny flower had to be alive gave me strength. I cried a good cry and it was very healing. We must hold on. It is hard to do this but when I need to I think of this beautiful tiny morning glory flower holding on in the only way it knew how. There is love for us but we must, must love our selves. I hear you and there are many of us who do hear you. Just some of us cannot answer you as yet. They are working on healing in themselves but are still thing of you. Love, love anf love. Peach and the rest of us.
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@parus- Hello. One thing that I find when memories attack me is to remember that they are just that, memories. They happened "ago". And it has been shown that our memories do not give us an accurate account "today." I am not saying that my memory is inaccurate in it's facts, but certainly time and other experiences have colored them.
I don't blame you for phasing out your friendship. One thing about friendships, we have to listen and understand. If that doesn't happen there's no reason to be friends. That must have been a sad day when you said good by to her in your heart, and maddening too!
lol- You are making perfect sense. PTSD is not a friend. How is your health and rest?