@vickimurray Nothing that will raise my hackles more than someone telling me to "count my blessings". Such a shallow unfeeling thing to say to anyone. Like if we did so the bad things would fade away. Ignorance can be cruel. I tell myself that others mean well and no longer speak of my inside darkness and pain. I no longer have much to do with family from the past. Their lives are good, they are happy and don't understand what I struggle. Lived up to what my mother told me about not amounting to a hill of beans. I truly do not see myself as such. Lots of poor choices in relationships. I ceased being the people pleasing person I had always been and realized mostly I was being used. I finally learned and feel so much better about myself. I can now set boundaries and and even be a bit selfish. I have a grandson of 4 years. He loves to come spend the day as do I.