@peach Hello, I am truly sorry for your childhood. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD with Major depression I never had a proper childhood either
My counselors feel that I was abused as an infant and my mom has no response to it. My Dad was abusive to my mom I was a child that had the responsibility to protect her since age 6. I did the best I could because I was my dads favorite. I guess. My Dad treated my mom horrible. My Dad would teach me about the Bible and make me read it back then. (after hurting my mom) He taught me that waiting to get married for sex was Gods way. We fought all the time. He would make me stand in the corner and when I got older-I said Try to put me there He learned he could not trust me. He learned to show Respect around my mom or else. He knew I loved him. She finally divorced him and life got really scary. One time he got a gun out to shoot me. He had gotten too drunk My mom woke me to help her at age 11. I said Come get me MF. He did but started punching me down the steps. Mom actually jumped on his back then to help me. We ran to the neighbors. He was not able to shoot us then. What killed me the most was when mom said I was the reason she stayed. My Dad was Bipolar, narcissistic and mean. I walked into a clinic at age 12, trying to get help for my parents. They just laughed at me.
When I was 21, Dad and I were friends. He realized I was a woman. He then treated me like shit. But I stood up to him. He was mean and heartless. He married another woman for 35 years She was the type to do as he wanted.

Then I married a man for thirty years and found out he was a gay man -narcissistic-pedophile-narc and a psychopath. He ruined my life and my children He also turned them against me too. You would think He was such a wonderful man He could convince you the sky was gray.
I buried my Dad who would not help me if stranded. However, he insisted, I watch him die this year. It was a horrible experience. His last words were: You are an asshole. I was late getting to the right hospital where he was taken. But I loved him and read him the bible the last 7 days he went without food and water. I let him listen to a Bible song on my phone when he took his last breath. I am not sure where he went after death. I guess when you said: the judge gave your children back to the predator-It made me want to write all this. Amazing My head has been twisted my sick asses my whole life.
I have gone into a big depression due to my health problems in the last five years. But this time I cannot get out of the house, work or have good hygiene practices anymore. It has been going on for 4 months now. I have always played the tough girl but I have always been helpful to everyone I met in this lifetime. I love the lord. I love and look for blessing in Everyone and Everything. The judge sent my children back to the predator too. My anger for Adult Authority has gone down the drain. Thanks for listening. Cat