Dear Grrranny-

A few years ago the multi-generational community where I live decided to install a CPR device in the community house and train everyone in basic CPR. The CPR machine gives instructions, so you don't need to memorize the techniques.
I agreed that this was a good thing for the community, but after it was done, and following up on research about the poor chances (for me, at 76) of healthy recovery from CPR, I talked with our community nurse and gave her a DNR notice from my doctor.

At the time I was clear that it was the most reasonable decision, but must admit I felt a bit of quivering at the thought that I refusing a potential treatment that might have a small chance of extending my life.

Since then, recently, one of my dearest friends has been diagnosed with advanced cancer with no real treatment options. Seeing her struggle against the brutally advancing pain as she tries to complete a few tasks to bring her life to a clear end is hard to witness. It's not certain how long this will go on. It depends on where the cancer attacks next.

So, my friend is helping me feel at peace with my decision about CPR. My end-of-life papers and preparations are done. I am generally healthy and active. The thought that I may some day have a heart attack and die quickly is a peaceful thought.
That could be a lucky way to go.
And I think of this with gratitude and love for my friend.