Please forgive me if I sounded that way to you, believe me, hurting you more or triggering things is the last thing I would do, that's not helpful for you and flashes me back as well. I thought since I'm pretty old I might have started this miserable journey before you and could save you some time and frustration (I had a therapist who wanted to take me on a riverboat cruise 2 weeks so she could write an article or book about my PTSD and and difficulty with medications not working or needing far beyond recommended dose)(antidepressant didn't work at all until a great Dr combined it with..ADDERALL...not something most psychos would dare do 20 yrs ago) I don't think books are helpful, some people don't learn anything that way, like me. Individual therapy might be helpful IF you miraculously found the right experienced one and it can't just be PTSD, it must be incest, self worth, pleasing people who are unplrasable, all of it! Again, please forgive any unintentional missteps I might have made, as you can see from dates, I'm new to this forum.
Parus, one last comment at the risk of upsetting others: you can "choose" to be a survivor and might do fairly well at it UNTIL you have a flashback or a nightmare but your conscious mind just doesn't have the ability to fix everything for the conscious mind. I've never been able to tell myself either of those was just in my mind until it was over, then sometimes I remember. Many is the night I can't get to sleep at all my brain is so afraid of a horrid, cruel dream.

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