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Anyone Else With PTSD?

Mental Health | Last Active: Nov 26, 2023 | Replies (666)

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@pendragonart

did you read the Vonnegut one about the young man with psoriasis? was it rabbit, run? read it when I was 10 and it meant a lot to me. books were my salvation in that I found others who suffered....eli weisel's autobiographical novel "night"was profoundly moving, read it at age 12 and finally found someone I could identify with in the protagonist. I felt like a holocaust survivor, didn't tell anyone for 20 yrs or so that I deeply felt that way, because it seemed insulting to jews since I was not a jew. my therapist was jewish and said I was a survivor of torture (and Stockholm syndrome) without validation from any source so was as if all my fault or imagination. at 65, I am much healthier but still have attacks (had one yesterday) when something triggers me with anger or cruelty. less suicidal for sure. I don't think there is much most therapists could do, but I know what I need when I can find it. when I see kindness, thoughtfulness, tenderness especially, and honoring other human beings, it helps me. when I receive that treatment it helps me even more. when I feel a sense of belonging, value, respect and acceptance, it helps me a lot...I get better. when I am with others whom I can trust to not betray me or EVER be cruel or mean, it helps me heal and grow. these things help me more than most therapy. I hope that those qualities of interpersonal contact are available to you, since social mistrust is common among us and is something often very isolating. it sure was for me, which makes it hard to have relationships or be around people at all...

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Replies to "did you read the Vonnegut one about the young man with psoriasis? was it rabbit, run?..."

I don't trust very many people. Only a few but still feel tense. I have been living like a hermit for years now and am over feeling that I have climbed every inch of my walls. I am also sensitive around people. Any mean or cruel words such as profanity almost triggers me into a panic attack. I feel like hiding when that happens. I trust animals. I trust my brother that's about it. I like people but it's hard to trust most if that makes any sense. I never told anyone about my years of being raped knowing they would identify me as that every time I saw them. It took years to open up but still keep it shut. Letting go, feeling free again is what I should practice more instead of living in the past. For now that's all I know.

Dear Pendragon: After reading your post I see myself in it. Such suffering is so very cruel. To truly understand these feelings of torture you have to experience it. We both know that there are others who have been tortured as we have been. It is so embarrising to reveal ourselves but sometimes it can help us when the other person has been through the same experiences. Hang in there I understand and do care for you. Peach Barbara