@katrina123 Not to sound harsh, but I really, really, really wouldn’t recommend taking him home for a night or weekend. I think it would make it super difficult for both of you, like ripping a scab off of his adjustment to the facility and starting afresh. When time to return, he might refuse to get back in the car. I don’t even drive my husband past our house or in our neighborhood.
As far as visiting, I go twice a week- Wednesdays and Saturdays, going a weekday and a weekend day lets you see what’s up when admin is there and when “the cat’s away”. I wave at the admin folks and greet the staff by name. I go just after lunch, the morning care and med pass is over and he hasn’t laid down for a nap yet.
I bought him a small fridge at Walmart, so I refresh the waters and soda. I refresh his bathroom drawer stack of incontinence briefs, clean his hearing aids biweekly, tidy up the closet and drawers. Then we go for a drive.
I ask him to choose what drive-through he’d like- it’s usually Dunkin for coffee and a donut, sometimes Dairy Queen. We only go to drive-throughs as I don’t feel confident taking him out of the car in a public place anymore. When he used a walker, we went to Walmart and he suddenly decided to start sitting down at the entrance. People rushed to help and we all got him back in the car, but it was scary. Another time he had a major diarrhea accident in his wheelchair, it was awful trying to manage that. Yikes!
Then we go for a drive. We live in a rural area, he likes drives by the farms, we check out the cows and what the farmers are up to in the fields. Sometimes we drive through and around our town center, sometimes we drive over to where he used to work and I bring up funny stories from those days and we laugh. We drive around for about a half hour, then it’s back to the facility, he’s tired and wants to lie down, I ask the staff to help with toileting, and then I go on errands needed in places on that side of town, saves me a drive up there another day.
About safety, my brother insisted I get a smart watch after I had a really hard fall walking around the block, had to wait sitting on someone’s lawn, until somebody came by to help me up and walk me home (saw stars).
It’s been great, it connects to my hearing aids and phone. When we began aging, I had my hubby put in grab bars in the tub/shower area (Amazon has nice “decorator grab bars), took up all throw rugs, got nightlights, and am very careful to have clear pathways, removing and clutter. I wear non-skid socks or slippers that stay on my feet in the house (not skids).
If you haven’t done it already, next time you go to your PCP, tell them you want to apply for the handicapped placard, mine has a drawer with applications. You take that to your local state representative’s office and they’ll FAX it to your state capitol, and it will be mailed to you really fast. Doing it that way speeds things up considerably. It’s been a godsend for me for safety- you can park close, open your door wide, plenty of room for in and out.
Many of us will be thinking of you and your hubby tomorrow, June 30th, as he is admitted to the new place. Things will be different, but they’ll be okay. Best wishes always