Same PzSD, same reason. Have you tried group therapy? Amazing what a polarized group we are: almost all seem to be overweight or underweight (whichever your abuser found least attractive). Most seem almost promiscuous or have no use for sex and try to avoid it. All have anxiety and in unfamiliar locations prefer back to a wall and facing all oncomers. We suck at relationships because 1st thing you need for a good one is trust and, when you can't trust the ones who are supposed to care the most for you, how will you trust outsiders.You know, it wasn't until our generation that abusing your wife and/or children wasn't against the law, they were the man's property,! I always intended to confront my father and mother (she allowed it to happen) but then he died...it was like he got away with it. I fell into the deepest depression and no one knew what was wrong with me until they finally took me to a psychiatrist, then family members didn't believe me because I had never mentioned it. I understand how you think there's something wrong with you, it's all your fault, etc. But it's not,! You weren't the one with the problem, your only problem was you believed was the adults who were responsible for feeding clothing and caring for you told you was normal or right. Happy to talk more if you need anything.