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Depression, fibromyalgia and spinal degeneration
Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Nov 8, 2018 | Replies (47)Comment receiving replies
Dear Indianascott:. Thank you for your reply. I meant to write back to you for some time now but could never find the time. Re- read your posts and I'm absolutely amazed at what you had to go through. I think your wife must have been a remarkable woman. I'm sorry you lost her , I'm hoping you both are persons of Faith so that you have a future in Eternity. I think the thing that makes me sad is as you were talking about all the medical bills yet still piling up and having to be paid off when here we are in our supposedly golden age. It did help me put things in perspective a little bit but today I'm having a pity party because I have a lot to do and after sitting in my car and in the local food bank for 3 hours yesterday, it did a number on my back .I went grocery shopping last night with my husband late and I could barely walk: my hips were really giving me a problem so that I had to come home and sit on ice. Viodin + advil not doing much for me these last days and we are in the middle of yet another Calif heat layer that really fouls up my fibromyalgia and hip bursitis. Today I have a lot to do and at 12:15 pm am laying on heating pad and hoping the Vicodin will kick in soon. Computer chair and long car sits do a number on my posture. Yet another potential day wasted. My husband was in the army during Korea, and at end of boot camp was honorably discharged due to back issues and marital problems at home. His wife at the time was busy running around with another man and sent him a Dear John Letter. So we found that he's not eligible for any veterans benefits. Many agencies that I have called for help are paid for services at discounted rates for seniors. At this point we have no Dinero, and like yourself you mentioned your house and the maintenance Etc had to go by the wayside while you were a caregiver .My mobile home has become trashed and full of clutter so that a housekeeper could not make her way through and there were several opportunities that fell apart to help me. I think the fire marshal would have a field day if he came inside my house so I have learned not to be ashamed that I do the best I can and when I have those few pain-free hours I find I call that a blessing and I work as hard and fast as I can to do what I can but each day actually the mess and the Clutter the dust it said it just gets worse. So trying to work on the corner or some project a little of the time is the best I can do but for some reason it's one step forward and three steps back. your description sounds like you know exactly what that's like. In my prayer life I think I heard God tell me just "go from strength-to-strength; I am with you I'm never going to leave you and just do the best you can when you don't feel well or when you do feel well go from strength to strength with My grace". Why this house has to be be cluttered I think because it's hard for me to bend and it's painful, hard for me to put my clothes away , pots and pans away Etc and I usually can only stand for 15 minutes at a time before the pain Creeps in. My attitude is usually pretty good and I'm not usually feeling sorry for myself except on occasion and today is one of those days. I enjoy reading your reply to other people's posts and about reading ,writing . Have 3 books encouraging u plots I want to publish. unfortunately I can't do any hobbies there's a lot that I would like to do because there is so much to do in the house and in the huge Garden space surrounding all mobile home. And we've been told we must move. this place is far too big for us and yet I don't know where to go or what to do Senior postage -stamp size apts tell us we make too much money.. So I'll Keep On Truckin and looking for your posts and replies to others if any of you other people in the discussion group for depression just feel like you've just had it you can't go on another day I would love to read your posts. You also mentioned that the market situation in your area did not make it possible for you to move. I'm stuck in the exact situation .our housing outstrips our income but for the life of me I do not know how or where to go and my husband does not want to move so I'm hoping for a brainstorm of ideas and that God will just guide me to know what I'm supposed to do. Pity gets me no where God bless you, Indiana Scott
Replies to "Dear Indianascott:. Thank you for your reply. I meant to write back to you for some..."
Dear IndianaScott: I posted a long reply to your last post at about 3am in the morning, and I can;t find that it even got posted. Sad, I had a lot to say and some funny! Virtuous69 . I am Dori
What a bummer @virtuous69 I would have enjoyed a laugh today! Maybe it will come back from the netherworld called computers sometime! Who knows? Sometimes I think mine is possessed! By the way I am just Scott --- nice to say hi Dori!
I hope all is going as well as can be expected.
Strength, Courage, & Peace!
@virtuous69 Hi, was just reading your post. Would you consider moving to Tucson, Az.? It is a lot cheaper than where you are. I had read that your hubby does not want to move. What is holding him back? Please don't say the children... because if they aren't helping you out, they should not be a consideration. The sun shines 354 days out of the year, or something like that. That is good for depression. There is lots of social help available there also. Lots of retirees also. Just a thought.
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Hello back @virtuous69 PLEASE -- from one caregiver to another you never, ever have to apologize for taking time to reply. Time and energy are precious and rare commodities. We only get them rarely together so please know there is no pressure nor any time expected for any response!
Thank you for the kind words about my wife. Indeed you are correct that she was a very special person in our lives. I was a heck of a mess when we met and I owe my life and the lives of our children to her strength, love, and grit! We were married for 41 years and for the first 2/3s of that she basically carried the load. For the final 1/3 I got to repay her and take care of her.
I attach a photo of our hallway -- I had already attacked it by the time I took this photo. I had to order a construction dumpster for our yard when I really got to cleaning and filled it to the brim! Over a ton and a half when they dragged it away. Embarrassed? Kind of, but as I said something had to give and it was anything that didn't have a direct impact on my wife's care. Heck, even our daughter got to a place where she could come home and ignore the mess I'd created.
I know what you mean when you speak of pain interfering with your everyday needs. I developed serious carpel tunnel in both my hands due to the repetitive lifting I was doing (and still need to have the surgery but am not ready to be a 'patient' myself yet). I took to wearing the same outfit each day and would just wash a small load each night. Then I also took to keeping what I needed out on the counter for our meals. Two pots, two plates, etc. stayed on the counter. No interest in putting them back and forth in a low cupboard! It helped, but now, a year later, I still cannot make myself put things away properly again 🙂 My heating pad was always plugged in and I would alternate between heat on my back and hands and ice on my bad knee. For Christmas our daughter bought me a neat ice pack that I could strap on my knee and keep it on as I walked around, etc. Then could refreeze when it warmed up too much. Weird gift, but one of my all time favorites!
I am sorry to read your husband isn't entitled to any VA benefits. Bummer for sure!
Housing is a bugaboo for sure. A necessity, but also it can be a huge pain in the XXX at times. Answers are few and far between and none seem easy.
I hold you and all my fellow caregivers in the very highest regard! It is a brutal role to fill and one we are never prepared for. No training, no manual, just jump in. I kept an old pillow on the sofa and some nights when I would collapse on sofa exhausted I would punch the living tar out o that pillow -- and have myself a darn good cry. Nothing changed but I did feel better! Then I would say a prayer my dad taught me. Each night he would say "OK God. I did my best today, now please let me sleep. I put my worries in your hands. I need my sleep so I can be strong and try to do my best again tomorrow."
I will close with this -- remember Superman and Superwoman are just comic book characters. None of us are super heroes. We can only do what a human being can do.
Peace & Strength