@kjc48 I felt a lot of guilt at first when my husband went into senior living, but the decision to put him there was made when he had his fall. That was a turning point, He was so badly hurt that I simply couldn't care for him at home. It may sound strange, but in a way it was a fortunate fall, because it made a life-altering decision not only possible but imperative. I had planned to keep him at home, put in grab bars, make accommodations, but once he was settled into independent in an affordable, well-run, and very attractive senior living residence, I quickly realized that he was much better off with adequate care, good food, three kinds of therapy, and other people to mingle with and get to know. At home, he only had me and the TV. Now he had his own world, with people in it, things to do, and a lovely campus to enjoy outside. Memory care, of course is different, Same campus, same administration, much more care in a secure facility designed to meet the needs of people like my husband. When he falls, there is someone there who can help him get up; when it's mealtime, there are people to remind him it's time to eat. He's gained weight and put some meat on his thin frame and I no longer have to cook, an activity I'm very happy at age 80 to forego. It's painful to visit and see him so reduced from the intelligent, energetic, cheerful man he used to be, but he's so much better off than he would have been at home with me. And I'm better off too. Everyone who faces a drastic change in circumstances, whether because of health, or job, or loss, has to face it in her/his own way. There is no right or wrong, only what works best and feels right. There should be no judgment, though the temptation is always there when you see other people making choices you yourself wouldn't. Loving support all around makes all the difference, and my hope is that everyone in this group has that.