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@sisyphus
So what am I supposed to do. Even after deciding that I would quit my meds I take them everyday with the fear of getting my withdrawal symptoms. And about a healthy lifestyle that you mentioned, I am trying everything to make it healthy like for example I’m exercising and trying to start my studies at least as much as i can.

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@mayalitpascal4444
I am glad to hear that you Already been exercising that helps us stay healthy BOTH physically and MENTALLY. It is mental health reward that is More important for your condition. So I’d think that you are Also Eating Balanced food, as you will see on e.g. Harvard University’s (but unfortunately no longer, I think, on CDC, the govt’s) It shows on a plate what portions of veggies+fruit, proteins from grains and chkn, and lots of nuts (peanuts are affordable for all).

So to yr “what I am supposed to do” it seems you’re on your way to be able to see your doc one day and ask: Do you think I can go on a lower dose?
Soon I hear from you that you’re Already been on healthy food for weeks, hopefully have good sleep we can then move on to your, “Cause every time that I get a little bit happy in life I feel like that it’s not the right thing and I feel if I’m happy then I stay unaware of my life...”

(I already see that you are progressing with plans for your studies)

@mayalitpascal4444
You need a psychiatrist with a clear tapering program.
This is not an easy med to stop.
It will very well cause withdrawal symptoms that will be tough . Without support, I’d say don’t stop it .