@SusanEllen66
Hi,
Don't be sorry, I have never bothered to wonder why me. It is what it is I have to find ways to deal with it. I'm 74 and had an awful time 3 years ago teaching myself to walk again. I kept falling with always the left leg not getting the instruction to move and yet the brain knew it sent the message so ordered the right leg to move. This caused the body to tumble as it got ahead of the feet. With intense concentration I have been able to reprogram the brain to check before stepping, thus almost eliminating falls. It has become instinctive now.
Concentration seems to be the key for me. Every time I rely on the automatic movements they tend to fail me.
FND doesn't send the signal and autonomic polyneuropathy dosen't carry out the signal in return it can send back faulty information to the brain so any correction can be wrong as well.
These two nasties are playing havock with my diabetes sending me to the door of diabetic comas when they jamb up the digestion. It also interferes with my blood pressure. In fact they are so invasive they affect many different aspects of the body. I struggle to remember which one does what and to be honest I don't really care which does what, I'm just along for the ride.
I have been using AI to sift through data I have collected and it is helping with my revewing my history to pin point when all this started. I has been mind boggling that so much has been there for many many years and I have carried on ingnorant of what has been causing the problems I have and do have.
It creates havock with medication, memory, my ability to spell words, hit the correct keys. My brain runs at max speed always and the fingers can't keep up. I'm in a race to find a work around, if at all possible. I won't let this failure beat me but know it will eventually. Unless something changes soon I'm finding it hard to believe I will see next Xmas. Looking back this has been going on for over 30 years that I can trace it back. As I understand it presently the only likely help is something like Gabapentin which basically sedates the nerve sensors which might just release the stomach muscles to work food through. As a result of doing this it will kill off and other 15 % of my already depleted kidney function. It is time to mittigate some of my health issues and focus on a stay of execution. How adament am I that I want to continue living this way is the big question. Short and sweet seems to be a better option but that eliminates any future possiblities that may come along.
I have had one slice of bread today and 3 half cups of tea. This evening I had a very small pork steak and 4 brussel sprouts knowing the digestion had already stalled. The immediate reaction is severe nausea, so I'm done for the day. I have medication to fix medication that was to sort the first medication and the circle goes on. I'm really good at not taking medication and forcing my body to deal with the consequences. The truth is I'm incurable and untreatable so why on earth would I want to try when I react to all medication severely. For the last 4 weeks the medics have wanted me in ED, but as I sit there and they do nothing why would I bother. The diabetic specialist refused to come down to ED to see me last time, at that point ( 9 hours in) I asked to be signed out, I normally walk out, on the basis I could do what they are doing at home and be more comfortable. I walked out with glucose levels at 17mmol/l, well into hyperglycemia heading for elevated ketones. I have set myself limits, over and above them I will take action, but not before. The ultimate goal is to go unmedicated for everything. I'm getting closer every day now.
With these health concerns I have to manage myself anyway I can, to get by another day. Sometimes that is contary to what I have been told to do, but as history has given me a better knowledge of how I react in certain situations, that is my guide. I deftly ride the knife edge of life or death.
The list of affected areas just keeps climbing, the more I look into my history with a rapidly exspanding knowledge of these issues it just gets worse. The nearest I can determine is that the autonomic polyneuropathy is well advanced followed with the FND. I can't sit and pitty myself, I suspect I don't have the time to waste any more. I'm already pulling back from buying aids to help as it would seem to be a financial waste, for any short term gain.
Yes osteoarthritis is on my play list. One hip and all the finger joints. A life time of working the finger to extremes on industial instuments, watches and clocks. With my ability to suck up considerable pain I won't let anything stop me doing what I want. I can tolerate a serious amount of pain. I came to after shoulder surgery and walked out of the hospital without pain killers much to the amasment of the specialist and staff. I don't think my wife even knew how much pain I could absorb. It is likely that the autonomic polyneuropathy is blocking the pain. Not something I have checked yet. If so that is the good part of this disease for me.
Take care.
Cheers