I’m not sure I have the same thing as you but perhaps in layman’s terms without knowing the name - I have Jpouch anal stenosis with prolapse of the pouch as well placing it right up to vagunal area and too risky for surgery

My heart goes out to you. I was thinking of revisiting for options the doctor to see if they can help the continual horrible issues within the anal area of when I try to evacuate stool and the irritation of all the food when it passes. Constantly inflamed tissue. Years ago because it was so close to the vaginal area they said it was too risky to
Try and fix. . Reading your post makes me think that neither can really be fixed. I don’t want to risk worse things happening - it actually dumping into vagina , but was hoping they could fix the skin around the anal area at a minimum so it wouldn’t be so sensitive. It doesn’t sound like anything worked for you.
Do you have these issues when trying to evacuate with skin irritation in the annal area. Perhaps you don’t have stenosis but I do think fistulas and fissures are an issue? Years of small pieces of food, getting stuck within the faults of the anus, causing irritation on evacuation. If so, did the surgeries you had help with this at all? I’m sorry I’m not answering your question. I’m just trying to see if we might have the same thing and can relate possible remedies in future.