@gratia Wine - the fruit of nature. Now that's a toast to one step forward. Best, Karla

@gratia My “elixer” of choice now days is black coffee. We both stopped alcohol altogether 6 or 7 years ago. We didn’t have issues with it other than the ways it could worsen or elevate risks with our individual health. NO JUDGEMENT though, and I do sometimes miss the lovely bouquet of a fine red. For now cold brew coffee (I live in Arizona) gets me by, keeps me sharp and merry, but man I have to watch it after 1 pm!

But whatever gives us caregivers a momentary lift is great as far as I’m concerned.

@gratia I think it is ok to get angry. To tell ourselves "I am really angry that this is my life right now" I think it is a natural response to what we are having to deal with. The question to consider is what to do with that anger. I think if you brush it under the rug or feel that you shouldn't be angry and then feel guilty, that anger will eat you up eventually. There are many safe ways to deal with it. You can post here for sure as we all are going through our own caregiving challenges. You can journal about what you are feeling or you can try what I learned in a "wellness, mindfulness, how to deal with what life has thrown you" retreat that I went on years ago. I found it remarkably effective. So what you do is write down on a piece of paper what you are angry at eg. your mother's dementia, your loss of the life you thought you would have, whatever it is that is pissing you off in the moment. Then you safety pin that paper to a pillow (that you don't care about). You get a wiffle bat (small plastic one for kids) and then you beat the sh*t out of that paper. It will end up in shreds and you can keep beating it until you are relieved of your angry feelings. Works for me.