This sounds like a really messy dynamic where both of you have ended up hurting each other, but there are some clear issues on his side that stand out.

He’s touching you after you’ve said no, teasing you after you’ve made it clear you don’t like it, and doing things like pinching or grabbing without asking. Even if he calls it “joking,” it isn’t okay once you’ve said stop. Ignoring that repeatedly is a consent issue.

The situation with your dog also wasn’t handled in a healthy way. Support shouldn’t be conditional like that, especially when you’re dependent on someone for help.

Your reactions, yelling, cursing, lashing out, seem to be coming from feeling ignored, frustrated, and powerless. That doesn’t make you “an abusive person,” but it does mean the dynamic between you is escalating in a way that isn’t good for either of you. It sounds like you’re reacting in moments where you feel unsafe, unheard, or stuck. That can still make conflict worse, but it doesn’t make you the problem here.

What actually matters more than labeling yourself is looking at things like:

Are your boundaries being respected consistently?

Do you feel safe saying no without consequences?

Is help being used as support, or as control?

Are conflicts building up because needs aren’t being addressed early?

This will not be fixed by blaming yourself.

You both likely need support, but the big non negotiable is that your boundaries need to be respected. You are NOT abusive. You are rightfully reactive.