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husband with off again, on again cognitive impairment, stressful
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 3 days ago | Replies (31)Comment receiving replies
In reading everything- and thanks to everybody for all the tips and wisdom and sharing!- I feel like this time of inconsistent behavior is almost the hardest! My husband, too, has all kinds of (self-imposed mostly!) tech problems and is constantly losing and changing passwords. He's made some very radical stock moves based on what turned out to be an AI podcast, BUT he's still alert enough that most of the protective suggestions won't work. I'm scared of waiting until something catastrophic happens to use the power of attorney. Is that how it has happened for folks in this thread? If you were able to proactively freeze accounts, take away phones, prevent driving, etc BEFORE something happened- and while your spouse was still aware enough to protest.... how did you go about it?
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@theglobalnomad1
For me, taking away my husband's debit and credit cards, and getting him to 'voluntarily' surrender his driver's license, was a screaming episode on my part with tears and yelling and an absolute insistence that this was the way things had to be because his brain was not giving him correct info and we need to be safe on the road and keep others safe (he has anosognosia, so has no awareness of his issues, which makes all this exponentially harder).
He didn't yell during this process, he just gave his usual flat affect facial expression and probably wondered why his wife was screaming and crying. Nearly getting killed by a demented driver is awful, I nearly threw up. Financial abuse is also scary; he still reports that his debit and credit cards are missing.
So, this process of taking away his independence has been heartbreaking but necessary, and I HATE making every decision by myself. It's very lonely.